What is to come?

Yesterday I turned 27 years old. Time is flying by. 


I am starting to really wonder what I want to do with my life. What new direction do I need to take? Because I need to start heading in a new direction but which way do I go?

I have been struggling with streaming for months now. It's not the same anymore. I have to find all new friends but it's been difficult. I have come to realize, most people on Twitch are fake. They only care about me when there is something in it for them. I have a few people who I believe might care but the problem is they can't always be there. And when they're not... I don't have any fun on stream. 


I can't go into my other people's chat anymore because I run into my old friend who is a fake bitch who pretends to be someone else online. 

I have a few choices.

1. Only stream when I actually want to. (And if I never want to then I never stream again). Work on YouTube videos more (?)

2. Clear out my friend/follow list of all the people that I feel are fake or actually don't care about me. So that I can find new friends and start over.

3. Quit streaming, close my discord and wash my hands of this.

The BIGGEST reason I am conflicted about quitting is my artwork. Streaming has been great advertising for my Etsy. Which is the reason I started streaming in the first place. Streaming has given me more Etsy sales then ever.

I also don't really want to lose the good friendships I have made on Twitch. 

I suppose another reason I am worried about quitting is regretting it. Am I going to become even more lonely? Am I going to feel like I am not accomplishing anything? Am I not working towards something? 

OR

Will I be happier? Will I not feel like I am in high school all over again with the popularity contest? Will I forget all those fake ass bitches I want to forget so badly? 

Streaming was so fun at first but it's just not anymore. 

I don't know what to do.